its one of those times when i miss people... again..
its one of those times where i start to doubt myself, so much that i can barely smile.
.... i feel blah.
i feel like i need to reconnect with people... say hello more often, smile and wave more often.
but i also feel like all that effort will just disappoint me again, because i know there will be at some point that i will eventually reach again where i feel myself being over the edge.. being too much, clingy, needy, in your face... towards another and will step back and fall right back into this ditch i am currently in.
i've tired/been dating a few different people in the last...... month or so...
hooking up, picking up, going on dates, talk sessions, relax sessions, sex sessions....
all these different people and yet i couldn't find the hype.
my excitement lasts short, my attention lasts short...
or, have the people i been seeing really dull, too easy?
thats it.... do i need a challenge?
i need someone that will challenge my mind.
surprise me, baffle me, demand me, teach me, even scare me...
i need a challenge.
not a friend, but a girl.
older women?
a fierce gal?
a mind terrorist?
.... lets jump a plane.
