..and so i like her

So damn complicated!

I want her so badly but i know its not a good idea, i dont want to lose her..but i cant stop thinking on what it can be.

She scares me.

Every single time she is near

I find myself missing her heaps

I want to hold her,so that i can feel her in my arms

..i feel sad because of this.
For wanting

Today really got to me, maybe i just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

I find that she is getting mad, annoyed, angry at me more easier then ever...

Might be spending way too much time with each other... But i like it.

We had a good day then everything changed so quickly.

Its bothering me on how easy she can be mad at me, no matter what the issue is.

We are both hot-headed, but she snaps faster than i do...

All i can do is sigh now... Because i like her and she doesnt know.

I would do anything for her ..


...but at the end of the day, she has him.

Capricorn women

Just saw this on a friends facebook post and thought its somewhat true and interesting...

"Cool and quiet woman. Once she is mad she can be very
fierce. She can work better than some men and she is very high confident woman. In her opinion, woman is not just a flower or decoration at home or at an office and certainly not a weak sex who needs protection.
She likes to control and hide her weak emotions. She will never try to change anyone, but she will learn to accept them as they are. If she does not like someone, she will not comments or criticize but she
will completely ignore that person.
She hate plastic and an artificial flower because it make her feel that you are not being sincere. She loves real flower and it's scent.
She loves a guy who wear after shave cologne. If you are a type of a guy who wear your Jean one month before washing, or wear an old
sneaker, then you can forget about her.
She loves music and nature even there is a rare case otherwise.
She is not as jealous as Aquarius or Leo woman, but do not cross the line O.K. Better not to see she gets mad, especially in front of
public when she feels like loosing face. She loves to make up and dress perfectly and very neat, so never rush her for this matter.
She has her own goal in life and does not care if you have a
doctorate degree or not, if she thinks you are not bright then she will not care about you at all. She likes smart people by character not by certificate shown. If you can not show her this quality, go and take a bus and go to the next stop.
She does not like a dreamer who talk about his dream but never put his hands in action to make it happens. Don't bother to tell her "everyone is doing it, you should do it too", or "I think you should do it, it's good for you", because she will do what she wants to do
only.
She is a neat and tidy person, so if your apartment is a pigsty, do not take her there. If you go out on a date with her , try to be presentable such as nice and clean dress, clean nails or else it will be your last date.
She is a cool type and will not nag, so easy on your ears. She is a slow but sure type. She will always respect and honor you and will never try to make you loose your face. If she loves you, she will help you in anything you do.
She likes to help people and expect nothing in return. If she asks you for a favor and does not get one, she will feel very disappoint.
She has a high hope and a high faith and beliefs in her own confident than believing in "Luck"."

Sometimes i feel like yelling. Grunt or some shit.

Just let out a really loud frustrated noise!

I havent been feeling like myself lately, but then im not sure what myself feels like.

Theres so much anger, frustration.

I need space but i dont want to be alone

..maybe i'm just in over my head

I like being around you

I wish i can tell you how i feel about you

That feeling i get

That feeling i get when im with you

That feeling i get when i look at you

That feeling when i look into your eyes

That feeling when i look at your lips

....i can say all this, all day, everyday.

..this thing called love..

She said, maybe we could try this thing called love.

Maybe i dont want it..

Maybe i do..

..or maybe im just scared.

When someone starts to label, anything at all, things change...
View and expectations change.

Maybe im not ready...
...but how would i know if i dont try.

...i like her and i want to be with her, but i fear the future.

....i rather not know.

... But i get curious.

I become very curious about people..
.. Who they are
.. How they react
.. Do they lead
.. Or do they follow.

I fear once i am curious no more, i will distance.

.. Could i just be only interested in the subject manner of people?

She asked me, why am i here... Where do i see myself as i am holding her hand...

...i responded with,Like.

I like you.

I like the way your hand fits mine

I like that feeling i get when all i need to do is look into your eyes and my heart skips a beat

I like the way you fit in my arms

I like how you know my coffee

I like watching you talk, as your facial expressions i adore

I like how you include me

I like how you deal with my emotions

I like how we need not be fancy but have only each others company

I like how you explore me, and how i explore you

I think i like you a little bit more...
..a little bit more each day.

But.

I wanted to say i love her.

I wanted to say that i love every single inch of her body

I wanted to say that i love every bit of her mind

I wanted to say that i love every part of her personality

I wanted to say...please never leave.

...i feel that she is too good for me and that somewhere out there she will find her match, someone that is better than me.

...i need to find the strength within myself to be more open...

Let people in so it wont be so bad in here in my mind.

...In my heart.

I often wonder why she chose me

Why didnt she choose that hot girl standing next to me, but me?

Why is she trying to understand this twisted soul

Just, why me..

But then i stop and realise.. That why am i thinking so much and so hard!
Why am i not in bed holding her to sleep right now, but sitting across the room writting this post!


I am so glad i went to the store that day.

Goodnight.

i hate the fact that we all use to be friends and now every one is not talking or finding every little thing a hate.

where did all the love go,

the laughter turned into bitching.

life use to be so fucken simple.

...but now...

i hate it.

we all use to be friends.

All.

i haven't written in a while.

a lot has happened, a lot has changed.

things got weird.

things got complicated.

i need to get back into the habit of writing again, my mind wants to explode and my heart has finally given me the signs of stress.... and i'm losing my word of speech.

i wonder if the past still reads my blog...

i have so much to say but so much to hide as well.

i'm married now, i adore girls.

i'm falling for a friend.

i'm failing at my interests and i don't know how to deal.

i have so many questions, so many curiosity, so much to say.....

....BUT WHERE DO I START?!

there's always a time period when everything seems to happen all at the same time, and at a time when nothing happens at all.

sometimes i feel like i will lose the fight of the day, i just want to give up.

sometimes everything just becomes overwhelming, and then it becomes harder to breathe.

--------------------

Frustrated.