I

AM

GOING

TO

GO

FUCKING

INSAAAAAAAAANNNNNEEEEEEEEEE

AND

STAB

SOMEONE

IN

THE

FACE!!!!

life has been strange lately , not like it never was...

so i'm not feeling like how i use to be, a tad more angry, a tad more emotional .. and a tad more careless... i dont know what to make of it. but i kind of like it.

i dont know how to explain.

i woke up in the middle of the night missing matt....

i miss my matty.

um um um.... i don't know how to speak it so i'll just type this much to let you know that i'm not ok. or am ok...

am alive.

but i have a bunch on the mind....

and i'm sick as shit.

ok, is it just me or is this picture seriously distracting....

i'm trying to get my youtube on and all i look at is this ....

should i be in tears right now?

should i be angry?

should i be happy that what needed to be said has been said?

i'm angry because you still don't fucking get it,

and i'm in tears because you think so little of me.

and what needed to be said, was said.... well, i wish i knew the words.

i'm drowning in alcohol, i'm surprised i can even type because i can't see any more.

i hate myself that i'm drinking, i swore to myself i would never drink in times like this, only for good times... but then again you swore that you respect me.

DA FUCK!!!

some people, are just fucking stupid.

"can a gay person look in the mirror and get turned on?"

like, fucking seriously?...

like, SERIOUSLY??!!

let me ask you this, douche.

you masturbate right?... is that gay?.. the fact is, you are touching penis and you like it.

so, are you gay?

the nerve of some people...

...yea, so if you haven't yet noticed... i do get a tad offended when people ask STUPID FUCKING gay questions. literally.

dark purple balls.

ARGH!!!

so like, i got cock blocked.

or got it chopped off (yea i'm a girl.... im just letting you know how dramatic this is).

ARGHHH!!!!

half way through and had to leave, MOTHERFUCKER!!

angry.

so like, i was feeling good today...

not so much now.

so like, my mind is going to explode.

in about, two or three ways...

make that three ways....

i am people frustrated.

i am work frustrated.

i am sexually frustrated.

...

i am people frustrated because...

some people just don't get it, and some are just jerkfaces.

i am work frustrated because, i've been on my ass for the last 2 weeks... i need money.

and you know the deal with the sexually frustrations...

always about a girl, . or about power control.

this time's its a girl, someone i've been around quite a lot lately... and it has been driving me insane.

.... um, so like.

i'm a wuss... and afraid of hurting feelings... but sometimes i just need to be a jerkface.

i try to be nice, i try to explain... but you dont get it and dont take me seriously... so by being a jerkface and telling you the cold hard truth about you is a must at some points. right now is it.

hey,

or i need to get laid. to rid of all this stress.

...well, in that case i need to get laid ALOT.

um um um

.. i need to get laid.

so i met a lil cutie while buying flowers for my mama early this morning

wow, it sure has been a while.

she gave me her advice to picking the freshest flowers and invited me for a morning coffee.

soon i had to leave, got her number and will see her again.

cynthia and i went to look at the model homes today (we were totally bored), and my inspiration on a new home is back.

i need to organise my life financially again and go home hunting.

going shopping tomorrow,

um....

seeing Nicky tomorrow night,

i don't know where to take her, maybe for ice cream again.

...... thats it, i'm so tired.

hello, I'm Nhi,

...sometimes known as Phuong, and sometimes Tori.

how are you?

I feel delirious.

i haven't slept, and drowning in energy drinks.... i feel like i have a massive hangover, and my heart is about to freeze.

and do you know why i haven't been sleeping?

stress,frustration, lonely and the horny.

i went to Tegan and Sara's show last night and it was amazing.

Tegan and Sara is the kinda of band that is perfect for live shows, and it will never get old.

it's entertaining, they talk and tell stories and play great music.

the lights guy needs to plan shit out better, almost went blind.

now, the people there...distracted the shit out of me.

1. tall people should stand behind short people, please.

2.under-aged people.... please put your shirt back on.

3. so.... SO many girls there....

and majority of the people look the same because, the butch girls have the same haircut as the lack of a man-man... and the lack of a man-man looks like the butch girls.

anyways, i have to do something now... peace.

feeling like a lil session of word.

nothing has changed since, like. forever.

...besides that my tolerance isn't so high anymore.

i haven't fixed my problems...

all i been doing is bitching lately, i hate it but. boy, does it feel good.

i hate myself when i have to be, different to how i really feel

i hate that sometimes i say something too harsh and i don't regret it

i hate it when i say something and you don't get it.

i hate it how it's your fault, and you don't know it

i hate it how it's your fault and you blame me

i hate it how you ask me how i feel then shot me down for what i say

i hate how you reuse my words, louder .. as an answer.

i hate how you give me lists of excuses every time, for everything.

i hate how you don't understand your boundaries and where the line is set.

i hate how you're using me without knowing,

i hate how i let you use me, without saying anything.

i hate how little you think,

i hate how much i think

is it worth it anymore?

...because you will never understand,

.....you will never change.

wong fu, why are u so good

like no shit... this is gonna be in my next club mix!!

I'm feeling a bit crappy lately but I have seen friends and it was all sunny outside so it cheered me up a little. :)
I think I need to calm things down in general, I don't like my behaviour lately. Though feelings are annoying me. It's fair to say I'm quite confused.

so many times i want to just shut my mouth, so many times.

believe me, i haven't completely exploded....

to be honest i am waiting for it.

looking forward to it almost.

i will stop being angry when you start to think.

I am sooo confused right now. it's cool.
I got very drunk last night...again.
It seems I'm slipping back into my old ways, it's like first year all over again. I'm so bad lately...people should stay away from me I think in case I take them down with me!