HEY I feel free time, so I decided to come on here and post something, since some of you keeps complaining that I don’t post enough. For one, I don’t have much to say anymore... surprising, I know. Well, currently working two jobs now as well so I don’t have enough time to actually sit down and write a post or have anything happening at all.

Actually, something did happen. I almost got married. But I realised it wasn’t going to work, because I didn’t or don’t know what I want yet. With my future and whole sexual gender thing. You should know what I mean.

I’m still wishing that I was still in Vietnam. or felt free and so careless and have money to spend. You know. The whole. 'yay, I have no responsibility, lets go out and have a coffee this morning and go out on my motorbike and have a great day'. Oh how I miss that. I wish I could go back and take some of you with me, I reckon some of you need and deserve a vacation like that.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and it’s come to this. I am unsure of a lot of things, but I guess that a good thing, right? I mean like it’s not really nice to know EVERYTHING. To me that would scary and boring, because you don’t have anything for you to keep learning from, and you cant find out who and how you are and adapt to the environment around you, basically, living is to continually learn, learn new things everyday and have special feelings of achievements that you learnt something and of course have special moments to feel proud of.
Can you actually imagine someone knowing everything? Or they think they know everything? I think it’s impossible to know everything overall. Well because, everything means ‘EVERYTHING’. That kind of explains itself.

I have no more mysterious thinking, talk to say right now so I’ll just talk about other things and probably get back or linger back to my ‘ I wonder’ kind of thinking again.

Well, Jane hasn’t been pretty happy with me for the last month or two, or two and a half. OH but anyways. I hope we’ll work things out before it becomes too late.

Hmm. found myself reject a lot of people now-a-days, not so sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I don’t feel like I want a relationship right now but at the same time I do? Or, well, I want someone I can actually stay with for more than three months. -_-“ . don’t know.
I feel like this, “if you cant meet my expectations then I wont date you”. But then I think that’s a really wrong thing to say, because expectations are just something to ruin a lot of good things, if I would follow my expectations then I wont give chances to know each other, you just cant help who you fall for. This brings me back to me saying I’m not sure about a lot of things, and to give people a chance to know you or for you to know them then you’ll learn what you like and don’t like. Explaining my confused self brings me to another point. Am, I being confused or unsure of what I want made me bi-sexual? Maybe, Maybe not. Huh. Wow, I feel like I’m hating my sexual orientation. I hope not, because I would like to know that I like who I am. I do like who I am.


Well. I’m having some coffee now so I’ll end it here.

Take care now.

-[Pd]-

nothing much has been happening, but still wanted to write so here it is.



as i said, nothing has been happening but i have been thinking alot about all sorts of things, like what you ask? well lets say about all sorts of things, like for example, what would it be like if i would to get married now and have kids in the follow year or two, i've been thinking that because alot of marraige issues came up in my life. but then again, what if i decided that i don't want to get married or if i wanted to marry a girl, what would happen? for one thing for sure is that family will be very disapointed and such.



Another thing i been thinking of is my career, right now i feel as though i might not be as confident in it as i used to be, because i saw myself freak/stressed out when i was under minor pressure and that just shut me down. so now i dont know if i am able to keep myself in this business.



something else i have been thinking of is. well actually thats all i've been thinking of mostly and then i, as me, thought about putting both those thoughts together and i get married and have kids and leave my career, or if i still want to be in the career then i'll just marry a guy in the same career as i am, like my best bud that decided he wants to marry me, see ... thats my simple thinking.



ok, that sounds like stupid thinking, the kind of thinking when im tired of thinking.