well.. at this point all i really want to do is just sit here.
i dont want to do anything anymore.. they all seem so useless in the end. not feeling any proud or happy either. just feel. on a certain point of empty. but there.
i think i'v caused enough trouble. i just want to leave now. that i know i can. its so kinda frustrating that people want me to stay but dont even know me, like.. out of no where i'm important. where has that come from?! since when do people notice me. i want to leave sooner than i'm suppose to. like now would be good. theres so many ways i could yet im still here!. why? i can honestly say i dont know. everything is over. its done. its gone. i give up upon everything.
And one thing.. i cant stand that is... Friends!!! at first.. they are all " hey man,, i care.. " etc... and one lil miner thing comes and their gone before u can say hi. or if its just something they didnt expect from you has come out. they gone. i cant stand that. Really i cant. u trust them.. u be honest and they leave u hanging with nothing left but hurtfulness?. im frustrated with life now. i cant stand the sight and yet im still here. I guess i dont have a true friend.i only have people to hang out with.. but no true friend. they say that friends last a lifetime, but i guess i dont have friends so they dont. so think about who is your friends and who is ur hang outs.does it matter? u say?. it does.. because who is going to stand next to ur hospital bed when ur dying, who's face are u going to see last,whos tears are u going to taste. u dont know do u. i sure know mine are.. no one. i thank and appreciate all the ones that are here now. but im sure u wont be for long.

why must i be so negative all the time u say? because if u think on what i say its all true. and thats how i see life. harsh and filled up with lies. its all true.


" Funny how everyone thinks that making a promise will somehow help. In the end it will only hurt you more when they break them."