sorry about the last post... i think i should post again with proper human talk...

well... not much has been happening lately (reason for lack of posting), so I'm not quite sure on what to talk about...

let me think...


oh, OK... my high school friend that went to Melbourne came back to stay in Sydney for good, and hung out with her a few times so that was good to see her again...
she is cute, without even trying.



i feel like i am un-attached from Nicky, I'm not so sure if that in general is a good thing or bad.
so many things has changed so much during the not so long time absent from each other that i felt the moment of shock the first time around and now I'm not feeling so affected by it, in a way i mean is, it doesn't hurt so much that shes not in my life so much anymore.
am i finally letting go of her? finally letting go of this love hold she happens to give people?...
in a way i feel a bit relieved but in a way i do feel really sad,
i don't feel so comfortable around her as i use to feel, i feel abut blank to be honest and i don't know if its because i get nervous around her and just stutter all the freaking time, or its because that "talk" bond i developed for her is now gone or in hesitant because its afraid that I'll depend on her once again and she cant be there.
it drives me a bit... just a tiny bit insane that i cant have one ...... just one moment alone with her, either just to enjoy her company or something is needed to be said, i sit there looking at her and finally finding and building the courage to talk or want to talk to her about whats going on and she gets distracted from her phone or someone approaching her...
*sighs*
i just don't know, i feel sad but i want to leave it, i don't want to think into it and i should just let it be, because it should be simple.

is it because she is beautiful?
her mind, her body and her soul?

it should be simple.




i admit i have been so cruel to the "girls" recently... leaving them hanging from a thread...
i hope i can fix them all... and avoid going back to the player's days...

i need a better view of people, things, situations, opportunities and myself...
i feel like i'm clouding up, my emotions, my thoughts and my actions are all messing up.

i miss my dog, i miss her so much... my baby's gone forever...
it's been 17days without her...
R.I.P Pep.



-[Pd]-