I'm sitting here all by myself and i think I'm going a tad insane.
at times i feel like being by myself but i don't think i ever mean it.
only to take a quick breath but thats about it.
last night i couldn't sleep, i had 4 sleeping pills and i still could not sleep...
my mind just does not want to SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
it never wants to shut the fuck up.
sickness is still in the win. mother fuck!
i went to work feeling all doped up and so so low, my body is exhausted but my mind is like a fucking .. i don't know.. something that doesn't stop.
it just does not stop.
i miss people yet i don't....
i hate people yet i love them.
i don't know what to do... i can't make up my mind for anything anymore, even deciding what to eat is becoming harder and harder.. so i end up not eating anything at all.
i went to see a therapist and she said this could be a start of schizophrenia, but i don't understand... like bipolar and intense insomnia isn't enough?
so, is everything just all in my head? is my thinking making me sick? is that why doctors can not for sure say what is wrong with me?
am i just ... mentally insane?
but then again., where are you when i need you?
i need you now.
i need someone here with me, it is so hard to admit but i need someone with me.
