What would you do......

what would you do when u know ur life is crashing. are u just gonna sit there and let it happen? or do something about it.
I think this time.. i am comparing life to a car.. and a road trip.. Its like u are the car and ur life is the on the road.. u will never know what or who you will meet. like for example. a hitchhiker or past a crash.. or simply trees!. and through road trips.. there might be problems like.. ir car breaking down. ran out of petrol, gas etc. streets with no lights. rain.... snow? road block and such.. got me? so now life in comparison. u met people u dont like. um.. problems happen like.. u get into a fight.. ur parents piss u off.. or dis you. ur gf/bf breaks up with you.. trouble at school.. etc.. so.. nothing is a smooth ride.. so u see it in ur life? so do u try to avoid it? or stick ya face in it! well ur breaking down point is like being in a car crash.. it depends on what u hit. how fast. the road condition. and when u hit.. do u try to avoid it? like.. try to turn (steer) away or do u just panic stay in shock and let it happen. and after that the injuries. broken bones.. body.. head.. cuts and such. and the recovery... do u stay alive? do u fight the pain to heal urself? but if u are weak, and take in no help, That is when u have the highest chance of dying. but when u stay strong and fight it .. take in help, u have a higher chance to live... who knows u might be in stable conditon. i think im going too far... but do u get me?
BUT.. what if.. u found out that ur in the wrong car, and everything in the car doesnt belong to you and someone else has gotten ur things. what would u do?.
in life sence. what if u found out ur life is a lie... not by you. but by someone else.
...um... so do you think that your life is in danger?
I do. i wanna tel u guys n gurls about it but... not now? so yea...

Stay KooL & Focus in this case
PeanutDevil.

=Þ Me

-_-` me sleepy me tired me restless me not caring at the moment me missing someone Me Love Duyen me dream of her alot me dreamt of her last night now me confussed alot -_-`



Hahahaha

SOLUTION

sleep. rest. go out. find sumthing to do. get over it. stop thinking about her. just dont think.

??? stupid>?? i think yes

"Do you Love me?"

"Do you Love me?".. how many times have you been asked that.? i for one.. has just been ask that again... no.. sorry not by Duyen.. by someone else..by Nancy... and... Fiona.. GOD i cant take it anymore.. my single life sucks man... i miss Duyen.. i wish i was asked by her rather than Nancy and Fiona. =,/ but its nobodies fault.... could be mine but im not sure lol... but Nancy and fiona are nice people.. i just dont think its gonna happen.. i mean i would like to but.. i still got feelings for Duyen.. so i cant.. and also there are two of them.. so i cant choose either.. but the main is i cant because i still Love Duyen.
yea.. lol.. im just wondering.. as i say.. and so do others "we adore the ones who does not adore us and push away the people who do adore us" yea.. im just wondering why that happens.. i mean everybody does it and i cant say that i dont.. lol as i said in my previous.. "we are a weird lot"..
i wanna know why things happen... so... why do things happen...?.. there are reasons behide everything.. as so people say.. yes that is true.. but dont sometimes when you think.. about a matter or problem and u think.. whats possible reason that is.. and later find there is none?.. i think i have.. a couple of times.. but "LOVE"... can or could u answer to that?.. "do you love me?"... or..."Why do u love me" how can u honestly answer that.... its abit hard.. because to me.. love doesnt have a reason i reckon.. it just comes.. its like.. most people.. when u ask them.. "what do u look for in your perfect guy/gurl?".. and most people probably could answer that.. like.. eg.. um.. someone who respects me and treat me right.. someone tall... dark hair.. rich..etc.. i mean.. is that all nessasary?.. well the respecting and treating is but u know.. the body type.. the voice? ( yes people are picky on that too).. is that all nessasary?.. well i dont think it is.. maybe to some.. but to me.. no. is it to you? you love who u love u cant hide it or force into it... and.. if u are my ex.. any of my ex and reading this... think about this.. have i ever said "I Love You" to you? like in a way that is truly i love you? no? that is correct.. i have only said it to ONE person... and i think u could guess whom. and if u cant.. its Duyen.. she is the only person i said it to. because Love for me isnt a simple thing.. like.. i cant just say it to someone.. Love has a meaning and i respect that meaning.. the emotional.. strong feeling .. but the actual word lol.. just saying so u know lol.. i've had a bad pass.. emotionally and physically. and i could say that im still struggling with some.. or and developed some extra bad things as life goes on.
ok.. i dont think i know what im actually writting now so yea.. thats like.. all i wanna talk about.. so yea...
Stay KooooL

PeanutDevil

The Waiting Game or the is it an act of Insane .

Life is filled wif waitin, waitin for a bus, waitin for someone to call you, waitin for someone to reply to you on the net or just plain waitin for the rite person to just pop down from heaven. So are they designed to make us wait n go insane? Hah ive being waitin my whole life, waitin for the bus, waitin for people to call me, waitin for people to reply to me ova the net, waitin for people to send me music and of course for that special someone….. Honestly its amazin how people can wait n not go insane… We are an impatient lot, “askin mum where my food or I’ll click it”, but then waitin for these other lil things but takin it easy. If we realli realise how much things we were waitin for, are we realli goin to go crazy… This is one of the weird things I notice about us humans, we are weird n interestin lot. I remember ages ago, me n my ex gf, were at the snow, ahaha it took me about 6 hours to finally find the confidence to talk to her!!! I can tell she was peed off, but luckily tim tams helped her calm down cause it took me so long….. Well mayb she wasn’t that peed off but I can tell by her relief that she being waitin a long time for me to talk…. I remebered I was by the kitchen table just fully lookin at her like as if my eyes were peeled to her, it was weird but I seriously duNo how she could of waited for me…. N it took me quite a while to ask her out toO .. weird … How come we want girls/guys to talk to us like as soon as possible, but we are want to wait as long as possible to ask talk to them, we are bunch of wierdos…. Like you should notice things like that….. Mayb it will make you a waitin yet patient person and realise the stupidity of it…. As humans we have to learn to be patient, in the Christianity, patience is seen as a gift from God himself, as u can see, to some people Christianity is seen as a gift. I Guess if people take more notice of patience mayb they realise that mayb it is a benefit to their own lives, try to imagine all the times uve being impatient, now try to think of a way so that u could of done to prevent your action of being impatient…. How whacked does it feel, u realise that somethin like that so easy could of being done to prevent u from chuckin a fit. Well i dunNo where I got this thought from but, it realli interested me so I decided to rite it down…. Heres another thought, I was at this party ages agO and this person kept on persistin to get this girls numbers, this one was a nice person n onli talks to girls/guys if “she” realli likes them. Sorry no names, n yes its me =-P …. Alrite well I wanted to talk to this girl like woah, shes the nicest girls n most cutest girls I eva seen, she was realli easy to talk to… She kinda of not took notice of me at first like first we just said heLLo a couple of times n she didn’t realli take me notice of me that much. When I finally had the confidence to actually drag her out and talk to her, she finally showed interests, but then again its was onli a short convo. N then she was like lets dance n then we kept dancin but then I walked back to my seat. After that we didn’t talk… I Waited that whole nite for her, realli weird man …. But my patience was like on boarderline and it looked like I didn’t have the HAPPY MOOD for the party anymore. So I decided to just stare into the sky to the state of nothin’ ness. But just before the party ended she just came up to me out of the blue, I was like hey, “in my most depressin voice!!” n shes goes u look like your havin fun in a very sarcastic voice, it cracked me up. I was like u had fun n she was like yeh, n famously she ask for my number … WoaH =- ), we never went out which was ashame but we good friends now. Imagine if I had patience and enjoyed the party. How mad of a day would of that being!!! …. Being at party, had fun, got a girls number…. WoaH, guess patience is needed to have a good life and time …., n its cool, I know that life gotta be filled wif patience n to be enjoyed, ive applied to this one moment so I can live life to the fullest… I duNno u learn from the people u like… so its cool …..
stay kool...

\m/PEANUTDEVIL\m/

memories....i guess...

I cannot picture beauty, i cannot picture love, i cannot picture the sweet red rose, nor the heaven above. i cannot picture anything, sad, i know, its ture, i cannot picture anything without picturing you.

well that was my opening. Now that is so because that is what i feel like... or noticed of me. Today was kinda the day that expected to see her... but she didnt show up.. so my thoughts was on her... so for the whole day... and now.. i've been distracted by my thoughts.... so u can see how bad i was today.. anywho... i found one of.. well.. some of my poems i wrote a while back... and here is one... this was made when duyen broke up with me in the beginning..

love is not a thing for me,
i thought you and me were meant to be,
but i guess i was wrong
,as the nights and days passes by,
the nights without you makes me feel like i want to die.
i guess its not worth crying for you,
for what you have done to me.
so we are over,
we are free.
life hasn't been the same since we broke apart.
i keep reminding myself,
we broke up for a reason,
the reason is for a brand new start.
it hurts me to see you with or talk to another person,
but what can i do,
im nothing but just a friend.
i thought i experienced love,
but i don't think i did,
i never had that feeling which makes me feel complete.
now i have to get up on my feet
and forget about all the things that you and me have been through,
and realise that i am nothing to you anymore.

wellp.. i never let her see the poems i wrote about her.. or about the break up poems i wrote whenever she break me.. or made me down.. sad..
and to tell u the truth.. i really dont know what or how i feel about her anymore.. i know that i Love her.. but... to this moment.. im not that sure of it anymore.. coz of reading everything i wrote.. my ups and downs with her..
omg.. lol i turned around to help bro with something now i lost my trade of thoughts lol....hm.. oh yes....i remember...
yea.. i didnt want to let her see my poems.. i kept them secrect ...until.. Tommy just had to go through my computer and sent it to himself!!! then he sent them to her!!!! OMG.... i know this because i tag my work... or things... and omg... i didnt know she reacted... they were really strong meanings in those poems(eg. at top)... so i dont know.. ..
i dont think that anyone in this world really knows me.. well i know some of u knwo me.. but i mean in like.. a way that .. is my true self... most of my life.. i try to be someone else that im not and try to please ppl.. but i just cant do it anymore.. i just want to be myself. but.. right now.. im thinking i dont even know myself. so how is that gonna help. =./ i dont think i ever knew myself... thats kinda sad but.. really who really knows themself.. like truely.. u know...?
yes im gonan end it here... so yea..
stay true..

Peanut