I cannot picture beauty, i cannot picture love, i cannot picture the sweet red rose, nor the heaven above. i cannot picture anything, sad, i know, its ture, i cannot picture anything without picturing you.
well that was my opening. Now that is so because that is what i feel like... or noticed of me. Today was kinda the day that expected to see her... but she didnt show up.. so my thoughts was on her... so for the whole day... and now.. i've been distracted by my thoughts.... so u can see how bad i was today.. anywho... i found one of.. well.. some of my poems i wrote a while back... and here is one... this was made when duyen broke up with me in the beginning..
love is not a thing for me,
i thought you and me were meant to be,
but i guess i was wrong
,as the nights and days passes by,
the nights without you makes me feel like i want to die.
i guess its not worth crying for you,
for what you have done to me.
so we are over,
we are free.
life hasn't been the same since we broke apart.
i keep reminding myself,
we broke up for a reason,
the reason is for a brand new start.
it hurts me to see you with or talk to another person,
but what can i do,
im nothing but just a friend.
i thought i experienced love,
but i don't think i did,
i never had that feeling which makes me feel complete.
now i have to get up on my feet
and forget about all the things that you and me have been through,
and realise that i am nothing to you anymore.
wellp.. i never let her see the poems i wrote about her.. or about the break up poems i wrote whenever she break me.. or made me down.. sad..
and to tell u the truth.. i really dont know what or how i feel about her anymore.. i know that i Love her.. but... to this moment.. im not that sure of it anymore.. coz of reading everything i wrote.. my ups and downs with her..
omg.. lol i turned around to help bro with something now i lost my trade of thoughts lol....hm.. oh yes....i remember...
yea.. i didnt want to let her see my poems.. i kept them secrect ...until.. Tommy just had to go through my computer and sent it to himself!!! then he sent them to her!!!! OMG.... i know this because i tag my work... or things... and omg... i didnt know she reacted... they were really strong meanings in those poems(eg. at top)... so i dont know.. ..
i dont think that anyone in this world really knows me.. well i know some of u knwo me.. but i mean in like.. a way that .. is my true self... most of my life.. i try to be someone else that im not and try to please ppl.. but i just cant do it anymore.. i just want to be myself. but.. right now.. im thinking i dont even know myself. so how is that gonna help. =./ i dont think i ever knew myself... thats kinda sad but.. really who really knows themself.. like truely.. u know...?
yes im gonan end it here... so yea..
stay true..
Peanut
