.. dreams and memories ..

Dreams and memories make me feel good ^_^.
But when i step back to reality.. and it tears me apart.
I had a dream last night... it was nice..^_^.. i dreamt of Duyen.. and u know that once your dreaming anything could happen right? well i dreamt that she huged me..^_^ and we were back together..and i felt really comfortable.. you have no idea how comfortable it was.. it even is right now when im thinking of it. then i eventually woke up.. and realised how comfortable i was and continuely throughout the day. i loved it.. well it was close enough of having her back...^_^ so today i would say its a relaxing day.. *big smile*...
oh yea.. in case whos been following my life. the thing with sara....... *sigh*.. i gave up... i do admit i think of her sometimes... but i see her at school and she has so much fun laughing and all and ... i dont want to ruin it. even if its ruining me. to tell u the truth.. i have never been so heartbroken as much as i did/do.have in 2 to 4 of these years... well i do have upsides..but more down sides.. well... i'll list some that has been breaking me... my best friend kathy died Year 2002. lost a girl i wanted to a prick 2002 - 2003? Lost duyen 2004. another friend died 2004.lost some friends 2005. sara left 2005.on drugs 2005. found out im going to die earlier than i thought 2005.
So there you go.
All it is, is that i have a shitty life.. but yet again.. who doesnt... but most of us look upon the highlights...
so yea.. felt like sharing my day so ... ^_^... Talk later... bye bye

..well well well... here we go again.

i am a dump of trash... lol.. and i think that other people are too gooooooood for me...... true or not.... im thinking it... and admitting it.. lol... whenever i write in here... something has happened lol.. as u can tell.... so something has happened.. lol.. MYGOD..... BLOODY OUTRAGES lol.. i feel like im over doing myself here.. um.. theres not much i can say right now but OH MY GOD...... lol..
have u ever... felt so bad in ur life that u just want to shut yourself off and fall? right now... currently speaking.. i am feeling that. im so tired with all these games in life... geeezus im ready to go. but then.. i still have things i want to say to people.. so im not going before i do so.
its late right now... and im just sitting here thinking ... how the hell am i going to talk to them. how the hell am i going to do it.i want to know.like... now would be nice.. omg.. so many things have been happenening so fast.. im feeling the rush!!!. but then i reckon i like the rush lol.. because i find myself looking for the rush all the time... and i just had one hahahaha XD.. hectic.. and also STUPID... hey but i got nothing else better to do but look for the rush..
oh and about my health thing i dont know what i want to do.because all these times.. of me wanting to leave in the first place... now is my chance..^_^... MY FREE ONE WAY TICKET TO PARADISE.... lol.... if it is paradise that is..

truth be told

hey.. um.. i just want to take a moment here to tell you guys that... a couple of days ago.. well last week.. i found out by the hospital that i am sick.... my health is not good. i dont want to say how or what is wrong with me... im just sick. and i know its a consquence... but hey.. i lived my life.... and what am i going to do for the rest of it... they told me that i wont be around longer than about a few years(i dont want to tell it).. not unless i take care of myself that is... like treatments... etc... but.. its fine with me.. i excepted it... ^_^... i dont know if u are.. but i am.. and did. and i also have mentally problems...... so thats physical and mental issues for me... =/.... not coping that well right now... i want to tell all these "pacific people" but it hit me... they dont want to hear me.. nor talk to me.. so i wont bother... they can find out another way. no use me popping infront of their face...... so.. yea.. thats it.... for now...

cya.

Love story...

Where do I begin to tell the story Of how great a love can be The sweet love story That is older than the sea.The simple truth about the love she brings to me Where do I start with her first hello She gave new meaning to this empty world of mine They'll never be another love another time.She came into my life and made the living fine She fills my heart.She fills my heart with very special things With angel songs and wild imaginings.She fills my soul with so much loveThat anywhere I go I'm never lonely With her along who could be lonely I reach for her hand it's always there.How long does it last, Can love be measured by the hours in a day I have no answers now But this much I can say.I know I'll need her till the stars All burn away and she'll be there..........

.............

well life sucks doesnt it?
i have recently skipped school twice. to have a little time to myself.. and i started thinking more and more into my problems.. and i realise theres no point. you cant cahnge anything not unless u start again.. all over in the beginning. and time? time will change nothing at all.

actually i dont feel like writting right now..... i'll update later..

...not cool!!!...

(writting in red coz its serious!!!)

IT AINT COOL TO PICK ON OTHERS!!!!!! mostly your peers. here.. i want to post this to get something straight.
My friends went on a school camp with the rest of my year. and today they came home.. she told me that she didnt have anyfun at all with the rest of the year . WHY???? because she felt that she was being picked on!! and i really seriously do not like my friends being picked on.. when she told me about it.. i am ready to fight. but she told me not to make a big deal out of it.. and just let her settle for awhile. so now i just have to wait. she said the problems was.. and i point out that she is and my friends are oversea students. and that is why they are being picked on. and if i found out who did it.. ITS ON!!! SO FUCKEN STAY AWAY FROM THEM!! *ahem* and i dont see why they should be picked on. just because u are born elsewhere doesnt mean ur a FREAK . i for one was born here in Australia.. and i see no different if i was born on the moon!!. why do people pick on others? to make themself feel bigger.... WHAT FOR!!!!! we are all the same for gods sake. get it through ur friggen head!!! the world is for peolple to share. there is a place for everyone... then why the unexceptance!! i seriously ask u. Why do you pick on others..?.. it makes me really pissed off when people are abused or harrased and things.. i feel like this is a fucked up world. and so many fucked up people are in it. its just like a class of students right? u have the good ones.. the bad ass people and the beign picked on and the ones picking. so why does that happen.
i want all of you to realise that we are all the same.. and think about why u pick on others... why all the crime... nature is be taken cared off not rejected and abussed. and we are nature.


(ps. if i hear anything more goes on with my friends.. the people that are doing it better watch out. so my school Canely Vale High School u better watch it!)
I DONT CARE WHO YOU ARE!!! I WILL GET YOU!!