is it possible to watch yourself die? ( im not talking about a mirror.. think outside the circle man..)

I find it very hard to trust myself these days.i dont know what i did to myself to be this way but its here... but on the other hand.. my life has lifted a little bit, which is a good thing, i think that this school holiday is helping me... relax abit, and have some me time.um.


update with my drug addiction... i am on the level of quiting lately.. trying really hard.. but still tempted.. alot.. been smoking..... *ahem*... im addicted to alot of things..... alcohol.... drugs... smoking... etc etc.

um... im screwed arnt i......