I see an endless road
I feel the restless wind
I've lost the fear inside
Cause I've got no choice
But to live or die
it's a strange place to be
I'm gonna break these chains
Unleash the changes in me
In an empty room
With a suitcase on the floor
It'll be daylight soon
I'm gonna wage my private war
Who's watchin' over me
Must be a guardian angel
I just need time to breathe
And give my life
The best of me
Suddenly you're in this fight alone
Steppin' out into the great unknown
And the night's the hardest time
When the doubts run through your mind
Cause suddenly you find yourself alone
Suddenly you'll find yourself.
Monday, July 31, 2006
melisa
This is my dear Melisa.... THE vampire that is responsible for all the bruising and bite marks and scatches on my neck and such!! LOL... isnt she hot?... lol-[Pd]-
Saturday, July 22, 2006
I have been blind
Unwilling
To see the true love
You're giving
I have ignored every blessing
I'm on my knees Confessing...
That I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face
I am staggered by your beauty
Your unassuming grace
And I feel my heart is turning
Falling into place
I can't hide it
Now hear my confession
I have been wrong about you
I thought I was strong without you
For so long Nothing could move me
For so long Nothing could change me
Now I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face
I am captured by your beauty
Your unassuming grace
And I feel my heart is turning
Falling into place
I can't hide it
Now hear my confession
You are the air that I breathe
You're the ground beneath my feet
When did I stop believing
Unwilling
To see the true love
You're giving
I have ignored every blessing
I'm on my knees Confessing...
That I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face
I am staggered by your beauty
Your unassuming grace
And I feel my heart is turning
Falling into place
I can't hide it
Now hear my confession
I have been wrong about you
I thought I was strong without you
For so long Nothing could move me
For so long Nothing could change me
Now I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face
I am captured by your beauty
Your unassuming grace
And I feel my heart is turning
Falling into place
I can't hide it
Now hear my confession
You are the air that I breathe
You're the ground beneath my feet
When did I stop believing
Friday, July 21, 2006
Dance till the sunrise
Sleep to the sound of Rain
Laugh till it hurts
Yet again laugh till your about to cry
Turn up the volume
Drink till the glass is empty
Step to the beat and become the music
Cry till you can't cry no more
Share with people
Then call them your friends
Be your self
Then starting speaking
Criticise with a Compliment
Put rubbish in the bin, empty the garbage once a week.
Fall asleep reading
Turn out the light
Put a smile on your dial
Fall asleep comforatble
Push till it burnsYell, and push some more
Friends will come and go, never close the doors
Don't feel guilty being honest
Sleep to the sound of Rain
Laugh till it hurts
Yet again laugh till your about to cry
Turn up the volume
Drink till the glass is empty
Step to the beat and become the music
Cry till you can't cry no more
Share with people
Then call them your friends
Be your self
Then starting speaking
Criticise with a Compliment
Put rubbish in the bin, empty the garbage once a week.
Fall asleep reading
Turn out the light
Put a smile on your dial
Fall asleep comforatble
Push till it burnsYell, and push some more
Friends will come and go, never close the doors
Don't feel guilty being honest
......MR HOT!!!......
oh my god... this guy is a friend of mine i havent seen in AGES!!!(exaggeration!! its more like around 3 years lol) hahah his name is Chris...and he is 24 years old. he is a teacher now!!! lol... he teaches science and at a high school... i cant say which.. but its in sydney.. lol..
oh my god.. he is like so FRIGGEN HOT!! hahahaha.. but im not into guys.. bummer!! lol... BUT he is a pretty good guy... and i want to show u how HOT he is!! lol.. so... yea.. lol Chris .. i hope ur enjoying this!! haha...
-[Pd]-
Thursday, July 20, 2006
other results of multi tests..
you're a Guardian Angel!
Chances are you've kicked around the idea of settling down on some shady lane with your honey and maybe even thought about having a kid or a couple of pets. Even if you've never cooked a pot roast or picked out fabric for curtains, we'll bet you've got solid nurturing instincts nestled within. That's why, when it comes to your partner, you're the Mother Teresa of romantic relationships. Doing little things like planning cool vacations and jotting a quick love note, tells your partner daily how much you care. This A+ quality not only makes you a compassionate lover, but also a trusted friend.Here's the rub: You're ready to give and give, but sometimes you might get resentful when your significant other doesn't return the favor. It can be difficult for you to let people fend for themselves, but try to focus on maintaining balance. Be sure to look out for number one, and try to indulge yourself as often as you indulge those you care about
------------------------
you should renew your relationship with a little Laughter
Smile! They say laughter is the best medicine, and it could be just what you and your sweetie need to rekindle your fun-filled romance. There's nothing like some good old-fashioned fun to take you back to those special times when you and your sweetheart first met.All you two jokesters need to get the party started is a little private time. Spend an evening laughing it up at a comedy club, hit an amusement park, or head to a carnival and bring out your inner child. Once you've brought back the laughter, the good times are sure to keep rolling!
-----------------------
you're a Subtle!
Were you just winking at us? We couldn't quite tell... In fact, we think it's pretty safe to say that you're a Subtle Flirt — you're a master of the flirting game. You know how to attract attention from anyone, any time. A quick smile, a little game of look-away-and-look-back-again — before long you have the object of your affection wrapped around your little finger. One of the best things about your approach is that it's discreet. You can always act innocent if something gets taken out of context or misunderstood. Just make sure you're not too subtle, or you may end up playing the game all by yourself.
-------------------------
you're an Upbeat Optimist
When it comes to love, your glass is half full no matter how many bad dates — or very bad dates — you've had to endure along the way. That's because you are one of Cupid's greatest allies, the eternal optimist with high hopes and big dreams. And why shouldn't you? Tons of people out there get their storybook ending. And who's to say you won't be one of them?A romantic to the core, you're game for the game of love, and nothing is more attractive than an optimistic player. In fact, we'd guess your positive attitude is what eventually delivers "the one" to your doorstep. That's amore!
-------------------------
you're Calm, Cool, and Collected
Do your friends like to lean on your shoulder? Ask you for advice in life and love? Put you on speed-dial for emergencies? We bet they do. You're as balanced as they come. When it comes to making decisions, you're not afraid to take the time to weigh your options carefully in order to make the right choice. And it takes more than a few obstacles to rattle your cool head.The good news is that you've also got lots of heart, and you make sure that people know that you always have their backs. There's almost nothing more important to you than the people in your life, so being a support to them is the coolest thing around. Just like you.
--------------------------
your Vegas poker style revolves around soaking up the atmosphere!
If you made it to Vegas, we can see you dressed to the nines, sauntering down the strip, taking in the ambiance of the dazzling lights. So who needs to bet? Well, it would be silly not to, but you seem to be able to get the most out of life anyway.If you're playing poker with some friends, you probably enjoy the friendship tinged with a competitive edge just as much as seeking that all important big win. The good news is that fortune always seems to smile on those people who are just in it for the fun. Perhaps your relaxed nature helps iron out your poker face, or you may be adept at bluffing with a few stifled sighs or grins. Whatever the result, we know you won't be a bad loser. There's always next time!
-------------------------
your style says you're Hip and Urban
Always on the cutting edge of just about everything you do, you're not afraid to experiment with fashion and show off your exciting personality. Whether you're headed to class, an after-school activity, or a friend's party, you don't mind taking the time to put your best foot forward and hopefully, have the most happening outfit around.Influenced by big city life, your look can be uptown one minute, downtown the next. It's just a matter of how you feel and what vibe you're ready to rock that day. Sound stylish and cool? Believe us, it is.
-------------------------
your vibe is Tickled Pink
You've got a sweet side that likes nothing better than to be tickled pink. That's why your charming vibe always rubs people just the right way. An affectionate soul like you is always thinking of others, and you find joy in being a generous and engaging part of your community. After all, you know it's much more rewarding to give than receive.This doesn't mean that you won't stand up for yourself when necessary. But you think things through before acting, and you tread lightly when you can. And there's no better way to make a bigger or more lasting impression on people than by leaving them tickled pink too.
------------------------
you're an Evil Middle High!
Well, you're kinda evil. They haven't reserved a place for you in Hell yet, but the leasing agents are starting their calls. (Sorry, no air conditioning.) We're guessing you find others' pain funny, your backstabbing knife is probably pretty sharp, and your sexual wiles have likely brought you enjoyment at the expense of your bunkmates a time or two. If more than one of those three things rings true, consider yourself a card-carrying evil person. If you're interested in recanting the evil thing, sensitivity counseling isn't a bad idea. Or else find a more sadistic career, like a bouncer or a metermaid. But hey, to each his own, and if your evilness fits, wear it. Keep reading for more evil details!
We're all slaves to our urges — some just more than others. Sure, you probably shake it a little to get your way, but you don't beat yourself up over it (unless you're into that, of course). For your own sake, realize that getting hurt sexually generally stings more than being burnt with your clothes on. So even if your pillow pal has a mean set of love handles, keep it to yourself. Just listen to that little voice in your head (no, not that one), and the evil sex thing will stop.
Yes, you're always smiling, but you hold grudges for years, repress your anger, and then blow up in conniving ways — you've got "postal worker" written all over you. If you want to stop the migraines, look into anger-management classes at the local Y. Passive-aggressive people are often very sympathetic, which is why they hide their anger. So take solace in knowing you're still coming off as kind-hearted, you sneaky, two-faced back-stabber.
We're not going to say you're a bad person, but you're toeing the line. A little advice: Try to think about how your victim will feel before you pull your next dirty prank (we don't care how funny it is when you take out a classifed ad and sell someone's car for them). You may think cruelty is funny, but your friends don't — especially the ones who've been burned by your verging-on-evil ways. Listen to your conscience a little more, okay?
lol.... thats funny...^_^ im evil..
---------------------
yes... so u can see that im pretty bored.... even though i should be studying right now.. lol..but alwells..
umz.. life has been pretty hectic lately... and also boring at the same time..
Thao had a miscarraige.. and its been really depressing for her, her family and me.
um.. school is pretty stressing too... but its ok i guess.
oh yes.. and everyone keep asking about my neck!!! lol.... i was bitten by vampire girls.. lol.. i didnt cut myself!! .... so yea... thats it... lol i dunno i might post more test results if i do more... later........
so...
-[Pd]-
Chances are you've kicked around the idea of settling down on some shady lane with your honey and maybe even thought about having a kid or a couple of pets. Even if you've never cooked a pot roast or picked out fabric for curtains, we'll bet you've got solid nurturing instincts nestled within. That's why, when it comes to your partner, you're the Mother Teresa of romantic relationships. Doing little things like planning cool vacations and jotting a quick love note, tells your partner daily how much you care. This A+ quality not only makes you a compassionate lover, but also a trusted friend.Here's the rub: You're ready to give and give, but sometimes you might get resentful when your significant other doesn't return the favor. It can be difficult for you to let people fend for themselves, but try to focus on maintaining balance. Be sure to look out for number one, and try to indulge yourself as often as you indulge those you care about
------------------------
you should renew your relationship with a little Laughter
Smile! They say laughter is the best medicine, and it could be just what you and your sweetie need to rekindle your fun-filled romance. There's nothing like some good old-fashioned fun to take you back to those special times when you and your sweetheart first met.All you two jokesters need to get the party started is a little private time. Spend an evening laughing it up at a comedy club, hit an amusement park, or head to a carnival and bring out your inner child. Once you've brought back the laughter, the good times are sure to keep rolling!
-----------------------
you're a Subtle!
Were you just winking at us? We couldn't quite tell... In fact, we think it's pretty safe to say that you're a Subtle Flirt — you're a master of the flirting game. You know how to attract attention from anyone, any time. A quick smile, a little game of look-away-and-look-back-again — before long you have the object of your affection wrapped around your little finger. One of the best things about your approach is that it's discreet. You can always act innocent if something gets taken out of context or misunderstood. Just make sure you're not too subtle, or you may end up playing the game all by yourself.
-------------------------
you're an Upbeat Optimist
When it comes to love, your glass is half full no matter how many bad dates — or very bad dates — you've had to endure along the way. That's because you are one of Cupid's greatest allies, the eternal optimist with high hopes and big dreams. And why shouldn't you? Tons of people out there get their storybook ending. And who's to say you won't be one of them?A romantic to the core, you're game for the game of love, and nothing is more attractive than an optimistic player. In fact, we'd guess your positive attitude is what eventually delivers "the one" to your doorstep. That's amore!
-------------------------
you're Calm, Cool, and Collected
Do your friends like to lean on your shoulder? Ask you for advice in life and love? Put you on speed-dial for emergencies? We bet they do. You're as balanced as they come. When it comes to making decisions, you're not afraid to take the time to weigh your options carefully in order to make the right choice. And it takes more than a few obstacles to rattle your cool head.The good news is that you've also got lots of heart, and you make sure that people know that you always have their backs. There's almost nothing more important to you than the people in your life, so being a support to them is the coolest thing around. Just like you.
--------------------------
your Vegas poker style revolves around soaking up the atmosphere!
If you made it to Vegas, we can see you dressed to the nines, sauntering down the strip, taking in the ambiance of the dazzling lights. So who needs to bet? Well, it would be silly not to, but you seem to be able to get the most out of life anyway.If you're playing poker with some friends, you probably enjoy the friendship tinged with a competitive edge just as much as seeking that all important big win. The good news is that fortune always seems to smile on those people who are just in it for the fun. Perhaps your relaxed nature helps iron out your poker face, or you may be adept at bluffing with a few stifled sighs or grins. Whatever the result, we know you won't be a bad loser. There's always next time!
-------------------------
your style says you're Hip and Urban
Always on the cutting edge of just about everything you do, you're not afraid to experiment with fashion and show off your exciting personality. Whether you're headed to class, an after-school activity, or a friend's party, you don't mind taking the time to put your best foot forward and hopefully, have the most happening outfit around.Influenced by big city life, your look can be uptown one minute, downtown the next. It's just a matter of how you feel and what vibe you're ready to rock that day. Sound stylish and cool? Believe us, it is.
-------------------------
your vibe is Tickled Pink
You've got a sweet side that likes nothing better than to be tickled pink. That's why your charming vibe always rubs people just the right way. An affectionate soul like you is always thinking of others, and you find joy in being a generous and engaging part of your community. After all, you know it's much more rewarding to give than receive.This doesn't mean that you won't stand up for yourself when necessary. But you think things through before acting, and you tread lightly when you can. And there's no better way to make a bigger or more lasting impression on people than by leaving them tickled pink too.
------------------------
you're an Evil Middle High!
Well, you're kinda evil. They haven't reserved a place for you in Hell yet, but the leasing agents are starting their calls. (Sorry, no air conditioning.) We're guessing you find others' pain funny, your backstabbing knife is probably pretty sharp, and your sexual wiles have likely brought you enjoyment at the expense of your bunkmates a time or two. If more than one of those three things rings true, consider yourself a card-carrying evil person. If you're interested in recanting the evil thing, sensitivity counseling isn't a bad idea. Or else find a more sadistic career, like a bouncer or a metermaid. But hey, to each his own, and if your evilness fits, wear it. Keep reading for more evil details!
We're all slaves to our urges — some just more than others. Sure, you probably shake it a little to get your way, but you don't beat yourself up over it (unless you're into that, of course). For your own sake, realize that getting hurt sexually generally stings more than being burnt with your clothes on. So even if your pillow pal has a mean set of love handles, keep it to yourself. Just listen to that little voice in your head (no, not that one), and the evil sex thing will stop.
Yes, you're always smiling, but you hold grudges for years, repress your anger, and then blow up in conniving ways — you've got "postal worker" written all over you. If you want to stop the migraines, look into anger-management classes at the local Y. Passive-aggressive people are often very sympathetic, which is why they hide their anger. So take solace in knowing you're still coming off as kind-hearted, you sneaky, two-faced back-stabber.
We're not going to say you're a bad person, but you're toeing the line. A little advice: Try to think about how your victim will feel before you pull your next dirty prank (we don't care how funny it is when you take out a classifed ad and sell someone's car for them). You may think cruelty is funny, but your friends don't — especially the ones who've been burned by your verging-on-evil ways. Listen to your conscience a little more, okay?
lol.... thats funny...^_^ im evil..
---------------------
yes... so u can see that im pretty bored.... even though i should be studying right now.. lol..but alwells..
umz.. life has been pretty hectic lately... and also boring at the same time..
Thao had a miscarraige.. and its been really depressing for her, her family and me.
um.. school is pretty stressing too... but its ok i guess.
oh yes.. and everyone keep asking about my neck!!! lol.... i was bitten by vampire girls.. lol.. i didnt cut myself!! .... so yea... thats it... lol i dunno i might post more test results if i do more... later........
so...
-[Pd]-
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
And nothing else matters
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
No, nothing else matters
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
And nothing else matters
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
No, nothing else matters
Zodiac match test LOL
i'd just thought i'd amuse myself since im bored.. so i took this zodiac match test one of my friends sent me.. lol... and my result is funny... so i'd thought i post it up.... and i think its funny because... i think it means.. i love myself lol... like.. my perfect match is who i am lol... im a capricorn and my perfect zodiac match is also capricorn LOl.... so here it is..
Capricorn, the Goat (December 22 to January 20): This ambitious and practical partner is just your type. Initially, a Capricorn may catch your eye because of their self-confident ways and down-to-earth personality. But as you get to know them better, you're likely to be even more drawn to your Capricorn's grand aspirations and the persistent dedication they show to things they believe in. People born under this sign are often excellent with money and can be natural managers. Be aware, though, that Capricorns' task-oriented natures can make them a bit short with others from time to time. However, for the most part they are diplomatic and tactful when communicating their perspectives about your relationship. In the bedroom, you'll likely find the Goat is both flirtatious and lusty; most Capricorns have a hardy sex drive. Overall, Capricorns are focused, driven people who are willing to work steadily toward their life's goals.
so... if you want to take the test too lol... then... http://web.tickle.com/tests/zodiac/ is where to go.. lol have fun..
-[Pd]-
Capricorn, the Goat (December 22 to January 20): This ambitious and practical partner is just your type. Initially, a Capricorn may catch your eye because of their self-confident ways and down-to-earth personality. But as you get to know them better, you're likely to be even more drawn to your Capricorn's grand aspirations and the persistent dedication they show to things they believe in. People born under this sign are often excellent with money and can be natural managers. Be aware, though, that Capricorns' task-oriented natures can make them a bit short with others from time to time. However, for the most part they are diplomatic and tactful when communicating their perspectives about your relationship. In the bedroom, you'll likely find the Goat is both flirtatious and lusty; most Capricorns have a hardy sex drive. Overall, Capricorns are focused, driven people who are willing to work steadily toward their life's goals.
so... if you want to take the test too lol... then... http://web.tickle.com/tests/zodiac/ is where to go.. lol have fun..
-[Pd]-
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further everyday
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters, no one else
I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free
Things not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost this can't be real
Can't stand this hell i feel
Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now she's gone
No one but me can save myself, but it's too late
Now I can't think, think why I should even try
Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death greets me warm, now I will just say goodbye.
Drifting further everyday
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters, no one else
I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free
Things not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost this can't be real
Can't stand this hell i feel
Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now she's gone
No one but me can save myself, but it's too late
Now I can't think, think why I should even try
Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death greets me warm, now I will just say goodbye.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
randomness
um... i just want to talk alil bit about..... nothing.. just random things... bcoz my head is filled with all sorts of things and i cant talk to anyone about it... like i said... not anyone can always be there... so now im facing that fact. on my own.. once again.... but no matter... im kinda used to be alone.. although i dont like..... its the way the flow is flowing? lol.. besides.. other people have problems too.. not only me. so.... .....space..... is ... also..important...
so.. i have finally finished watching the L word season 1,2,3.... ad waiting for season 4 and i hope for more and more and more and more and more more and then more than more lol...and ohmygod... so much more!!! because I LOVE IT HAHAHAHAHAahahah....... ha... also.. it stresses me out most of the times when i watch it.. because it has such a deep meaning.. i still love it...^_^.
well i think thats why i love it..
going back to school soon.... in tuesday actually.... i kinda miss school but i dont. i miss it socially and hate the work... obviously.... i think everyone is like that.
i havent finish any of my holiday assesments and homework yet,.... ARGH lol.... not like i care anyways lol... any one who knows me sure knows that fact lol.!
any who.... i joined something called "Habbo" the other day.... lol.. its a virtual world thing where u can find people socially and chat.... it runs in the 'habbo hotel' and u have to buy credits to have a room and u can furniture it and such.. its an ok place.. but the thing i hate about it is... theres only rarly older kids like.. over 15 in there.... they are all young friggen kids like.. 13 or 14.... ALOT OF THEM... then they trick you to get ur money 'credits'!!! OMG that pisses me off.... they pretend to pick u up then be ur partner so they can take ur money.. then when u ran out.. they simply dump u..... -_-" bad bad thing.. i sure hope they dont do that in the real world!! -_-... if u want to try it.. its www.Habbo.com.au for australian one... theres an american one too i believe... and i guess its just www.habbo.com .
so.. thats it... lol... i think.. i dont know.. i might come back later..
take care...
-[Pd]-
so.. i have finally finished watching the L word season 1,2,3.... ad waiting for season 4 and i hope for more and more and more and more and more more and then more than more lol...and ohmygod... so much more!!! because I LOVE IT HAHAHAHAHAahahah....... ha... also.. it stresses me out most of the times when i watch it.. because it has such a deep meaning.. i still love it...^_^.
well i think thats why i love it..
going back to school soon.... in tuesday actually.... i kinda miss school but i dont. i miss it socially and hate the work... obviously.... i think everyone is like that.
i havent finish any of my holiday assesments and homework yet,.... ARGH lol.... not like i care anyways lol... any one who knows me sure knows that fact lol.!
any who.... i joined something called "Habbo" the other day.... lol.. its a virtual world thing where u can find people socially and chat.... it runs in the 'habbo hotel' and u have to buy credits to have a room and u can furniture it and such.. its an ok place.. but the thing i hate about it is... theres only rarly older kids like.. over 15 in there.... they are all young friggen kids like.. 13 or 14.... ALOT OF THEM... then they trick you to get ur money 'credits'!!! OMG that pisses me off.... they pretend to pick u up then be ur partner so they can take ur money.. then when u ran out.. they simply dump u..... -_-" bad bad thing.. i sure hope they dont do that in the real world!! -_-... if u want to try it.. its www.Habbo.com.au for australian one... theres an american one too i believe... and i guess its just www.habbo.com .
so.. thats it... lol... i think.. i dont know.. i might come back later..
take care...
-[Pd]-
Thursday, July 13, 2006
its sick but who could ever predict
we'd be doin the same shit
we say we do it for our baby, but we dont
we do it for us, its lust
cuz neither one of us trusts each other
so we fuck till we bust
and then we cuss each other, out,
we know what its about
and shout till i throw you out the house,
you throw me out the house,
i throw you on the couch,
punch you in the mouth fist fight till we turn this mother out
and apologize after, laughter, pain
its insane, were back in the same chapter again,
and its sad but its true, when im layin here wit'chu
there aint nothin anyone could ever say or ever do cuz
the more you put me through
the more it makes me wanna come back to you
you say you hate me, i just love you more
you dont want me, i just want you more
i buy you flowers
you throw them at me
i know its sad but its making me happy
the more that you slap me,
the more that it turns me on
cuz you love me and i love you more
cuz i hate you, do you hate me?
good cuz you're so fuckin beautiful when you're angry
it makes me, wanna just take you
and just throw you on the bed
and fuck you like i dont even know you
you fuck other people and i fuck other people
you're a slut but im equal, ima mut
we're both evil in our ways
but neither one of us would ever admit it
cuz one of us would have one up on the other, so forget it
people make, accusations, people spread rumors,
but they aint got proof
till they do, its just the two of us, its you and me
cuz any chick can say that shes screwin me
but you gotta believe me to a degree cuz you're in deep
if you didnt i wouldn't be hitting
yeah i would cuz the sex is just too damn good
if i ran, who would i run to?
who would be this soft and warm
so its off and on, usually more off than on
but at least we know,
that we share this common bond
you're the only one i could fuck without a condom on
i hope, the only reason that i cope
is cuz of that fact and plus i can bust in that
and thats why
i can never understand it,
thats why i dont try
from junior high, until we both die
its silly oh why, must we try?
is it really so rough?
did we must and always call
each others billy-goat's gruff?
try to pull each others legs, until the other begs,
were lying to ourselves
thats the beauty of it, yeah
cuz we truely love each other
thats why we always fight,
and all we do is shove each other
every other fuckin night and its clear, it aint gonna change
this pin up rage, we both have,
and we both feel like we've been upstaged
by someone else, we've both been someone else
with someone else
the problem is, neither one wont tell
its an addiction, and it cant be fixed
our familys mixed up
theres baby sister in the mix
and it hurts, cuz the pieces to the puzzle dont fit
and anybody who thinks knows us doesn't know shit
and they're probably just tired of hearing it all the time,
on every song, every lyric and every rhyme,
all the hoop-lah, all of the whoopty woo,
what you put me through, fuckin whoopty-doo
but i wont be made a fool of,
if this is true love, you wouldnt do what you did last time,
you wouldnt screw up this time,
cuz this time, girl im telling you what,
you do it again im fucking you up,
no matter what
what you say, what you do,
ima hunt you down till i find you
no matter where you run
ill be right there, right behind you
and in your nightmares i surround you.
-[Pd]-
we'd be doin the same shit
we say we do it for our baby, but we dont
we do it for us, its lust
cuz neither one of us trusts each other
so we fuck till we bust
and then we cuss each other, out,
we know what its about
and shout till i throw you out the house,
you throw me out the house,
i throw you on the couch,
punch you in the mouth fist fight till we turn this mother out
and apologize after, laughter, pain
its insane, were back in the same chapter again,
and its sad but its true, when im layin here wit'chu
there aint nothin anyone could ever say or ever do cuz
the more you put me through
the more it makes me wanna come back to you
you say you hate me, i just love you more
you dont want me, i just want you more
i buy you flowers
you throw them at me
i know its sad but its making me happy
the more that you slap me,
the more that it turns me on
cuz you love me and i love you more
cuz i hate you, do you hate me?
good cuz you're so fuckin beautiful when you're angry
it makes me, wanna just take you
and just throw you on the bed
and fuck you like i dont even know you
you fuck other people and i fuck other people
you're a slut but im equal, ima mut
we're both evil in our ways
but neither one of us would ever admit it
cuz one of us would have one up on the other, so forget it
people make, accusations, people spread rumors,
but they aint got proof
till they do, its just the two of us, its you and me
cuz any chick can say that shes screwin me
but you gotta believe me to a degree cuz you're in deep
if you didnt i wouldn't be hitting
yeah i would cuz the sex is just too damn good
if i ran, who would i run to?
who would be this soft and warm
so its off and on, usually more off than on
but at least we know,
that we share this common bond
you're the only one i could fuck without a condom on
i hope, the only reason that i cope
is cuz of that fact and plus i can bust in that
and thats why
i can never understand it,
thats why i dont try
from junior high, until we both die
its silly oh why, must we try?
is it really so rough?
did we must and always call
each others billy-goat's gruff?
try to pull each others legs, until the other begs,
were lying to ourselves
thats the beauty of it, yeah
cuz we truely love each other
thats why we always fight,
and all we do is shove each other
every other fuckin night and its clear, it aint gonna change
this pin up rage, we both have,
and we both feel like we've been upstaged
by someone else, we've both been someone else
with someone else
the problem is, neither one wont tell
its an addiction, and it cant be fixed
our familys mixed up
theres baby sister in the mix
and it hurts, cuz the pieces to the puzzle dont fit
and anybody who thinks knows us doesn't know shit
and they're probably just tired of hearing it all the time,
on every song, every lyric and every rhyme,
all the hoop-lah, all of the whoopty woo,
what you put me through, fuckin whoopty-doo
but i wont be made a fool of,
if this is true love, you wouldnt do what you did last time,
you wouldnt screw up this time,
cuz this time, girl im telling you what,
you do it again im fucking you up,
no matter what
what you say, what you do,
ima hunt you down till i find you
no matter where you run
ill be right there, right behind you
and in your nightmares i surround you.
-[Pd]-
yesterday i went to the optometrist and the poor optometrist got robed!!! OH MY FUCKEN GOD!!! the dude.. stole several glasses and took some money... and... lol.. i was fine until like hours later when i was actually waiting for my mum to go home i actually felt the impact of it.. gee talk about slow reaction!! lol...
but the thing is.. i was just sitting there and didnt realise it was a robery.. i wasnt thinking... but i guess i did do something right... i triped him.... LOL.....
------------------------------
um.. i've been thinking alot about certain people lately.... and.. i think im actually getting myself confussed ... i just think wrong sometimes... i assume things... i conclude things.... and its wrong... and right now.. i hope i am thinking the wrong things.
i am in such a mess right now... and i am seriously trying to cope... alot, i just feel like i just lost my life. but if thats the case, then i'd rather have killed myself.. then been 'written' of my life. some of u know what i mean... for the rest.. dont worry about it..
--------------------------
im feeling abit sick now.. so im gonna go.....
-[Pd]-
but the thing is.. i was just sitting there and didnt realise it was a robery.. i wasnt thinking... but i guess i did do something right... i triped him.... LOL.....
------------------------------
um.. i've been thinking alot about certain people lately.... and.. i think im actually getting myself confussed ... i just think wrong sometimes... i assume things... i conclude things.... and its wrong... and right now.. i hope i am thinking the wrong things.
i am in such a mess right now... and i am seriously trying to cope... alot, i just feel like i just lost my life. but if thats the case, then i'd rather have killed myself.. then been 'written' of my life. some of u know what i mean... for the rest.. dont worry about it..
--------------------------
im feeling abit sick now.. so im gonna go.....
-[Pd]-
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
What a skeletal wreck of man this is
Translucent flesh and feeble bones
The kind of temple where the whores and villians
Try to tempt the holistic tomes
Running rampant with free thought to free form
In the free and clear
Where the matters at hand are shelled out like lint at a laundromat
To sift and focus on the bigger, better, now
We all have a little sin than needs venting
Virtues for the rending
And laws and systems
And stems are ripped from the branches of office
Do you know what your post entails?
Do you serve a purpose?
Or purposely serve?
Lying down inside of your adavistic galore
The value of a Summer spent
And a Winter earned
For the rest of us there is always Sunday.
The day of the week that reeks of rest
But all we do is catch out breaths
So we can wade naked into the bloody pool
And place our hand on the big black book
To watch the knives zig-zag between our aching fingers.
A vacation is a count-down
T-minus your life and counting
Time to drag your tongue across the sugar-cube
And hope you get a taste
What the FUCK is all this for?!
(What the hell is goin' on?!)
SHUT UP!!
I could go on and on, but, lets move on shall we?
Say, you're me and I'm you
And they all watch the things we do
And like a smack of spite
They threw me down the stairs
Haven't felt like this in years
The great magnet of malicious magnanamous refuse
Let me go and
Plunge me into the dead spot again.
Thats where you go when theres' no one else around
It's just you
And there was never anyone to begin with now was there?
Sanctomonious pretentious dasterdly bastards
With their thumb on the pulse
And a finger on the trigger
CLASSIFIED MY ASS! that's a FUCKING secret and you know it!
Government is another way to say
Better
Than
You.
It's like ice but no pick
A murder charge that won't stick
It's like a whole other world
Where you can smell the food
But you can't touch the silverware
Hah, what luck
Fascism you can vote for
Isn't that sweet
And we're all gonna die some day
Because thats the way
And I've drunk too much
And said too little
When your gaffer taped in the middle Say a prayer, save face
Get yourself together and (see whats happening)
SHUT UP!
FUCK YOU!
I'm sorry, I could go on and on but
It's time to move on, so
Remember your a wreck, an accident
Forget the freak, your just nature
Keep the gun oiled and the temple clean
Shit, snort and blaspheme
Let the heads cool and the engine run
Because in the end,
Everything we do
Is just everything we've done.
-[Pd]-
Translucent flesh and feeble bones
The kind of temple where the whores and villians
Try to tempt the holistic tomes
Running rampant with free thought to free form
In the free and clear
Where the matters at hand are shelled out like lint at a laundromat
To sift and focus on the bigger, better, now
We all have a little sin than needs venting
Virtues for the rending
And laws and systems
And stems are ripped from the branches of office
Do you know what your post entails?
Do you serve a purpose?
Or purposely serve?
Lying down inside of your adavistic galore
The value of a Summer spent
And a Winter earned
For the rest of us there is always Sunday.
The day of the week that reeks of rest
But all we do is catch out breaths
So we can wade naked into the bloody pool
And place our hand on the big black book
To watch the knives zig-zag between our aching fingers.
A vacation is a count-down
T-minus your life and counting
Time to drag your tongue across the sugar-cube
And hope you get a taste
What the FUCK is all this for?!
(What the hell is goin' on?!)
SHUT UP!!
I could go on and on, but, lets move on shall we?
Say, you're me and I'm you
And they all watch the things we do
And like a smack of spite
They threw me down the stairs
Haven't felt like this in years
The great magnet of malicious magnanamous refuse
Let me go and
Plunge me into the dead spot again.
Thats where you go when theres' no one else around
It's just you
And there was never anyone to begin with now was there?
Sanctomonious pretentious dasterdly bastards
With their thumb on the pulse
And a finger on the trigger
CLASSIFIED MY ASS! that's a FUCKING secret and you know it!
Government is another way to say
Better
Than
You.
It's like ice but no pick
A murder charge that won't stick
It's like a whole other world
Where you can smell the food
But you can't touch the silverware
Hah, what luck
Fascism you can vote for
Isn't that sweet
And we're all gonna die some day
Because thats the way
And I've drunk too much
And said too little
When your gaffer taped in the middle Say a prayer, save face
Get yourself together and (see whats happening)
SHUT UP!
FUCK YOU!
I'm sorry, I could go on and on but
It's time to move on, so
Remember your a wreck, an accident
Forget the freak, your just nature
Keep the gun oiled and the temple clean
Shit, snort and blaspheme
Let the heads cool and the engine run
Because in the end,
Everything we do
Is just everything we've done.
-[Pd]-
Sunday, July 09, 2006
um... why are things so shitty these days? and everyone is feeling it.. basically why are people feeling so... upset.. so... bad.. and such.. and happiness only last for a tiny while..?
um.. i feel like.. i cant be around.. big crowded people right now.. to me it feels so stressing.. i can be alone, by myself and talk or think to myself or i can only handle one person at a time.. i feel more freely like that.
yesterday... i felt pretty good actually.. then as time goes by... it my mood turned out pretty bad and basically wanted to kill myself..
as i was walking today.. to have alil time to myself.. i realised how much i've changed and how bittered i've became.. and it just sucks..
i also realised that my life is so shitty because im a coward to face the world.. and because of that i always choose the most plain and boring and simplest paths to something.. and the outcome of my decissions are.. i get myself complications that frustrates me and i shit myself for why i did choose to be like this...
And i also complicate things more by thinking too much , and sometimes its simple things but i tend to complicate it more, then i stress and become suicidal.
truth be told i feel really depressed and suicidal right now. i dont want to be like this and im tryig really hard to steer away from being so. and this brings me to another point is... just... some people just dont realise or appreciate how lucky they are of being happy!! fucken rich snobby people!!! that get what they want and when they want!! and dont work as hard as us, the unfortunate to just live for another day. some people just dont deserve certain things...
even right now.. i still should be pretty happy that i have what i have right now.. there is always someone that is worse than me.. for example.. war countries.. , africa,,, where they are hungry and sick.. and there are less help. seriously u should really be proud of what u have. like i know for a fact that you are reading this means you HAVE and computer... and to me that seems pretty rich compared to those other people. and also... i am writing this. is i want u to help organisations that is trying to help those unfortunates.. they are also humans just like you and i. u are just emotionaly distressed... they are all emotional , physically and health wised distressed. please help.
um... i dont really know.. what happened just then.. but..yea..
i feel rage... i feel that i failed...
-[Pd]-
um.. i feel like.. i cant be around.. big crowded people right now.. to me it feels so stressing.. i can be alone, by myself and talk or think to myself or i can only handle one person at a time.. i feel more freely like that.
yesterday... i felt pretty good actually.. then as time goes by... it my mood turned out pretty bad and basically wanted to kill myself..
as i was walking today.. to have alil time to myself.. i realised how much i've changed and how bittered i've became.. and it just sucks..
i also realised that my life is so shitty because im a coward to face the world.. and because of that i always choose the most plain and boring and simplest paths to something.. and the outcome of my decissions are.. i get myself complications that frustrates me and i shit myself for why i did choose to be like this...
And i also complicate things more by thinking too much , and sometimes its simple things but i tend to complicate it more, then i stress and become suicidal.
truth be told i feel really depressed and suicidal right now. i dont want to be like this and im tryig really hard to steer away from being so. and this brings me to another point is... just... some people just dont realise or appreciate how lucky they are of being happy!! fucken rich snobby people!!! that get what they want and when they want!! and dont work as hard as us, the unfortunate to just live for another day. some people just dont deserve certain things...
even right now.. i still should be pretty happy that i have what i have right now.. there is always someone that is worse than me.. for example.. war countries.. , africa,,, where they are hungry and sick.. and there are less help. seriously u should really be proud of what u have. like i know for a fact that you are reading this means you HAVE and computer... and to me that seems pretty rich compared to those other people. and also... i am writing this. is i want u to help organisations that is trying to help those unfortunates.. they are also humans just like you and i. u are just emotionaly distressed... they are all emotional , physically and health wised distressed. please help.
um... i dont really know.. what happened just then.. but..yea..
i feel rage... i feel that i failed...
-[Pd]-
Friday, July 07, 2006
profounded day
i spent the day with a close friend , kate, today and i think i've learnt something from it. like.. what i can appreciate, what i do appreciate and what i dont appreciate.
i also found out a little bit about myself that i dont know or havent realised before, and she has made me realise it and brought it to my understanding.. and also she made me realise alot of why i feel so...lonely and close to the reason why i constantly distract and disturb myself over.. little things.. big things.. well basically everything, so if i could just put today in one word.. it will definatly be 'profound'.
and also i want to say thank you kate, you really helped me cope alil.. and yea.. thanks babe... i owe u.. ^_^.
um... so.. im feeling alot of emotions right now.. and um.. yea... i just.. feel.. alittle bit lighter on thoughts i guess..but still hazy over some things.
so yea.. feeling confussed now....
-[Pd]-
i also found out a little bit about myself that i dont know or havent realised before, and she has made me realise it and brought it to my understanding.. and also she made me realise alot of why i feel so...lonely and close to the reason why i constantly distract and disturb myself over.. little things.. big things.. well basically everything, so if i could just put today in one word.. it will definatly be 'profound'.
and also i want to say thank you kate, you really helped me cope alil.. and yea.. thanks babe... i owe u.. ^_^.
um... so.. im feeling alot of emotions right now.. and um.. yea... i just.. feel.. alittle bit lighter on thoughts i guess..but still hazy over some things.
so yea.. feeling confussed now....
-[Pd]-
Thursday, July 06, 2006
today
today.... i had an pretty good day.... so far.. and i say so far because when something good happens theres will always be a bad thing preparing to jump in ya face lol...
BUT im feeling pretty good at this very moment.
and all i did was went out with my nephew Jeremy and met up with Helen for coffee.........
um... but then i still need to deal with stupid promotioners!! ARGH they piss me off....... but right now im feeling calm so im not going to go there.
um.... i maybe should give up my career path for now to focus on my studies so i can fall back on and my friends... i know that some of my friends need me around right now because shitty things have been happening.. and yea.. maybe i should put a hold on my career.. but then.. if i want to get anywhere with this job then i really need this promotion with all these stupid people.. and promotion doesnt come cheap and around lots.. and if i miss this promotion... then i think i need to start all over again, with a new style.. *aiya* business world is so frustrating and hard.
i am trying to organise myself.. and postponding my promotion... but i really dont want to miss out on it.... grrr... but i need to study right now... even i know that.. lol... obviously. plus i got my whole life to promote myself.... -_-"
but then.. all i want is to be there for my friends right now... and try to gather myself together... lately i'v been a mess!!.... *sigh* and after i saw duyen the other day... i've been in a bigger mess!!...
umz.... yea..... i dunno what to do.... but i just want to enjoy this moment as its is..... lasting..... so.. i hope at least for the rest of the night.. nothing pisses me off...
-[Pd]-
BUT im feeling pretty good at this very moment.
and all i did was went out with my nephew Jeremy and met up with Helen for coffee.........
um... but then i still need to deal with stupid promotioners!! ARGH they piss me off....... but right now im feeling calm so im not going to go there.
um.... i maybe should give up my career path for now to focus on my studies so i can fall back on and my friends... i know that some of my friends need me around right now because shitty things have been happening.. and yea.. maybe i should put a hold on my career.. but then.. if i want to get anywhere with this job then i really need this promotion with all these stupid people.. and promotion doesnt come cheap and around lots.. and if i miss this promotion... then i think i need to start all over again, with a new style.. *aiya* business world is so frustrating and hard.
i am trying to organise myself.. and postponding my promotion... but i really dont want to miss out on it.... grrr... but i need to study right now... even i know that.. lol... obviously. plus i got my whole life to promote myself.... -_-"
but then.. all i want is to be there for my friends right now... and try to gather myself together... lately i'v been a mess!!.... *sigh* and after i saw duyen the other day... i've been in a bigger mess!!...
umz.... yea..... i dunno what to do.... but i just want to enjoy this moment as its is..... lasting..... so.. i hope at least for the rest of the night.. nothing pisses me off...
-[Pd]-
frustrated
it is so hard to deal with people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i try so hard to cope. but i cant do it. not anymore. i just get fucken crazy!!
why is it so hard for people to understand simple things?!!
i have to deal with fucken rich snobby basturd all week and the fucken following week... just to have a career!! i hate dealing with people. i cant do it anymore. im so fucken pissed off.
why cant i just have a fucken normal life.. is it so hard? but then again.. what is normal?!!
ARGH!!! im so fucken frustrated!!
-[Pd]-
i try so hard to cope. but i cant do it. not anymore. i just get fucken crazy!!
why is it so hard for people to understand simple things?!!
i have to deal with fucken rich snobby basturd all week and the fucken following week... just to have a career!! i hate dealing with people. i cant do it anymore. im so fucken pissed off.
why cant i just have a fucken normal life.. is it so hard? but then again.. what is normal?!!
ARGH!!! im so fucken frustrated!!
-[Pd]-
Monday, July 03, 2006
what does it mean..??!!!
why is it... that every single time.. that i feel i have found someone that i actally like and want to be with..... that is not Duyen. i see Duyen? then i just completely.. loose it. i loose my mind.
i went for a walk a few hours ago and just got back.. on my way for the walk.. i saw duyen.. it was a one on one pasing. at that point till now and still continuing,, there are so many emotions and i can feel that i am hating myself and going crazy.
when things have ended.. its over... over means its over. but why do i still keep a part of things inside of me?!
i hate myself for still loving and missing and thinking of her.. but then again for some reason.. i dont.
about 4 hours ago.. i thought i had everything sorted out.. my life... my love life.. my career life.. etc... everything.. but everything changed when i saw her. around 2 hours ago.
i feel completely bad..... non confident... full of emotion as well as full of nothing.
is this a sign that im not ready to move on? or am i refusing to move on...
or is this a symbolic thing that reminds me of all the horrible things i have done and hurting is my punishment?
i dont know whats going on anymore.. i forget who i am and what my aim in life..
i even who my friends are at times, and what or how much they mean to me. or most of the time i cant find a friend ... not even to talk to... everyone says they are there for me.. but i really dont see it. and by that i do get annoyed. its just.. u think that making a promise helps.. WELL it doesnt if u dont keep it!! and when i do need someone.. and no one is avaliable .. and i do understand sometimes they are actually busy.. but i do feel betrayed. i do feel betrayed most of the time.
i dont want to hold back on how pissed off i feel about people anymore.. i am not nice anymore. i am furious. everything single thing is just a pain in the ass!! i tired to cope.. i tried not to be furious... but i cant cope anymore.
i cant get what i want. and shit happens.
i dont know where im going....
-[Pd]-
i went for a walk a few hours ago and just got back.. on my way for the walk.. i saw duyen.. it was a one on one pasing. at that point till now and still continuing,, there are so many emotions and i can feel that i am hating myself and going crazy.
when things have ended.. its over... over means its over. but why do i still keep a part of things inside of me?!
i hate myself for still loving and missing and thinking of her.. but then again for some reason.. i dont.
about 4 hours ago.. i thought i had everything sorted out.. my life... my love life.. my career life.. etc... everything.. but everything changed when i saw her. around 2 hours ago.
i feel completely bad..... non confident... full of emotion as well as full of nothing.
is this a sign that im not ready to move on? or am i refusing to move on...
or is this a symbolic thing that reminds me of all the horrible things i have done and hurting is my punishment?
i dont know whats going on anymore.. i forget who i am and what my aim in life..
i even who my friends are at times, and what or how much they mean to me. or most of the time i cant find a friend ... not even to talk to... everyone says they are there for me.. but i really dont see it. and by that i do get annoyed. its just.. u think that making a promise helps.. WELL it doesnt if u dont keep it!! and when i do need someone.. and no one is avaliable .. and i do understand sometimes they are actually busy.. but i do feel betrayed. i do feel betrayed most of the time.
i dont want to hold back on how pissed off i feel about people anymore.. i am not nice anymore. i am furious. everything single thing is just a pain in the ass!! i tired to cope.. i tried not to be furious... but i cant cope anymore.
i cant get what i want. and shit happens.
i dont know where im going....
-[Pd]-
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