"Lost and insecure,
You found me, you found me"
had an interesting conversation with Nicky, well i found it interesting anyways....
she always seems to know how to get to the heart... the heart.
the heart is a pretty powerful place... in thoughts, in emotions... in needs and wants.. your heart, is where you are, makes you who you are. where it/what really matters is in the heart.
she knows how to get there. to mine anyways.
started with the usual me saying hello and telling her that i miss her... and telling her that i was diagnosed with a certain mental disorder, and i had to say/tell how i feel, what i need/want... to who ever it is that i have the need to say it to... as an exercise to help control the disorder.
and i asked to see her, and of course she was at work.... and has a very tight work schedule, and she couldn't come see me, she apologised for it and encouraged me to get better...
she said "well i believe you can do it.. you are capable of doing anything you set your mind too, so believe in yourself and never doubt it.. oki!!
love you also my friend.. i'm going always be here for you and i hope you know that.. you have always been there for me, making me smile when i was down and out.. i cherish your friendship nhi and i want you to know that!"
and then i felt really emotional, because that was so amazingly great to hear(read)
she told me to smile, and me being me made a smart-ass comment and said "smiling is contagious... so if u smile.. i will too ^_^"
then she said "ohh sure thing.. i am smiling now.. so smile as you read this and we will be smiling together.. haha sounds corny buh true.."
and then me being me again... and said... "corny indeed u are!!!..... *points*.... u, corny person..... aw but i love it.SMILES. smiles are great."
and her with her good words " yes they are! smile all day long and ppl will think your crazy buh who cares what ppl think, just keep on smiling.."
then me smart-ass "i like being crazy.... probably the best way to enjoy life. yes?"
and feeling really light and emotional.... i said..
"im glad we met... in so many ways im glad..."
and she said "so am I! even tho we don't see each that often, your the one I turn to when I'm really down.. I duno what I do if you weren't there for me? probably cry to myself... "
she makes me feel worth it... special...
that may not be much to you.... but to me, that gets inside of me so deeply.
and if you can't see why this is so special to me... one general way i can explain it is that she has heaps and HEAPS of people and friends and family around her and they are EVERYWHERE... ...
everywhere, anytime.
she knows heaps of people.... hundreds and hundreds of people... and its not like the randomly added people on networks.... these are people she actually know... remembers names to face... hung out with... sort of knowing.
and for her to keep me so close to her heart... to me, thats a huge deal, because i dont ever think that i can compete with that many people.
she is patient with me, strong.
not many people are patient or patient enough with me, i probably can guess why.. but that who and how i am... i dont open up so easily or fast enough for people to stick around for...
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twitter is taking so much of my time..... its getting addictive.... im on twitter more than i am on facebook.... hm.... it's just funny to read peoples status updates, especially from john mayer, p.diddy, ashton kutcher and soulja boy..... their minds are hilarious...
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-[Pd]-
