and i think they noticed... they came over and i was completely flipping out with stress and frustration.
i didn't feel comfortable.
i tried to hide it after a while when i finally realise how i was behaving...
but i felt fake... so fucking fake.
they are my close friends and yet i still uncomfortable, it shouldn't be that way.
maybe i just need space,
i feel like i need space, but i also want someone there...maybe just find the right person.
i know who i want by my side right now....
...i feel exhausted, i laid there all night thinking and imagining myself at the lake with sara and to be honest it did relax me just a tad more than how i was feeling at the beginning..
because there is just a comfort that i didn't need to talk with her, she understands the quiet.
i want to get away... only for a little while, because i want to work things out but i need time to breathe.
and i also know that problems won't just sit there and wait for my breathing session to be done with, problems don't give breaks.
aaarrrggghhh.
i don't know where i am right now.
i need to know, i'm losing my control and i feel weak.
