i have a girl to want to share my life with
i have friends
i have family
i have somewhere to live
i have food to eat
i have money to spend
i have things to use
i have clothes to wear
i have a bed to sleep on
i have a car
i have 2 jobs
... i have all of that... and everything else basic.
am i being greedy? do i want more?
a better car? more money? a bigger house? more clothes to wear and more things to play with?
i feel that i am too lazy to care about big houses and expensive cars but i simply don't want to clean a huge HUGE spaced house... and be paranoid about where i park my car or if its scratched or dirty...
sure, i'd like more money...
so i can go shopping and buy more shit that i don't really need or want but will have because it looks fun and then i never touch it after it arrives home...
face it, i only need and want one partner.... if i want to changer her? i don't know, i have to find out more about her and how much we connect and all that eewwness of this fuzzy feeling inside my heart.
more friends? sure i'd like to have more friends.... i know heaps of people, but i have trust issues so i barely let new people in... my current friends and close friends are the people i grew up with and met during school and any other early life events of mine. nowadays i just don't trust new people, i'm grown up now and seen most of the world and been through too many bullshit to let my trust in people so freely...
i'd like to get married someday...and maybe have kids too, i'm still working on who it'd be with, i missed 3 proposals from 2 people.
what am i missing....
what do i want.
..need?
why am i feeling this way, did something happened?
do i want more?, more of what.
i can... and will work for a better future, but i don't know where the direction is, the destination.
i can build my dream home
i can buy a better car
i can work more for more money
but those are material goods, maybe it's the emotional feeling that is missing...
