my family randomly went to a park for a BBQ today (at auburn's garden place).... and i got really scared of a peacock.
for those who know me, i do have a slight fear of birds, and that peacock was coming awful close to me i had to ask my little 4 year old niece to chase/scare it away for me.......

story of my life. -_-"

in my defence though..... i did not freak out.... just felt really uncomfortable.
a pretty girl laughed at me.. =/
i picked her a flower and said "thank you for finding me amusing".

also... there was like... two or three.... random men that were there... that just seemed too odd to me... (they weren't together)... they were just walking around staring at the rocks,ground,tables and chairs..... then napped?
they seemed a little depressed... but odd.

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lately... my caffeine intake has alarmingly increased.....
so i thought I'd try to control it.. or just stop for a few days like i usually do....
so today i only had one cup of regular espresso... and BOY did it feel good!!!.
felt myself twitch an awful lot and minor chest pain, also still feeling a little dizzy and such...

hm,
-words of an addict.

but I'll see how it goes... i need to cut from about 10 extra strong espressos to max 3 cups of regular coffee a day.

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i had a dream that i was being butchered by someone i know.... and i was fully awake and watching it happen, i could feel every single cut, slice and chop (the closes thing i can explain to you is... its kinda like what Dexter does.... though i would be still alive and watching and feeling it all)... but the weird thing is (yea.. me being butchered isn't weird or strange enough for me.. kinda expecting it to happen one day..) my head was detached... but i never died... every part (hands/arms/feet/head/face) was still moving...
bizarre.. she licked my face....

strange.... but yea.. i woke up for real and laughed it off...

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Your mum rates me.

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i know i haven't continued writing up from the book... but i lent it to someone... and they have not given it back yet..I'm kinda annoyed.

so be patient guys.. like how I am trying to be.

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my phone number keeps receiving calls that are not looking for me... like as if my number is an old number that was used recently because i kinda doubt someone and i are using the same number at the same time... or i doubt that people can be that dumb to press in the wrong number and put mine in... if you have my number... you can see that its a high chance anyone can make a mistake for another number....

yea... its not a big deal..... I'm just a bit annoyed.... keep being interrupted during work and other things......

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i have a thirst for, yea... the whole bleeding dark side of me is showing again.... i think it's about time i encourage it... just to be safe and keep sane.... i would give in and feed my crazy side once in a while... and not let it build up and lead to the nasty that i would regret or get caught for.

this time, i think it'll be hard to satisfy.
I'm not sure i can find anyone that would participate with what i want to do...

anyways, i shouldn't think so much into it or it will get messy.

so many voices...
talking
demanding
tempting
seductive
.

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um..........................................................................


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can you feel it when someone is staring/looking at you?

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yes sir,
may i have another!!!

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ahhaha... i am talking to a friend of mine... and she brought up on how i found out about her old nickname on msn (the one she used so long ago way before we met), and how i found out is windows live messenger has upgraded, and so it has this feature (that is kinda annoying and i cant get rid off) that shows my contact's name/nicknames and shows the status or what they are doing....
and she was saying that one of her friend is asking her things that she has never told her before...
so i suggested that her friend has gone to her profile and read things that are on there... so i went on her profile....
and i found she had blogged before... and she seem very embarrassed about it, because of the way she use to talk and such....
and that makes me wonder if i would get embarrassed if i would read my old blog posts... or someone decided to read it and talk to me about it...
because i do know that i speak/write differently from then til now....
but it's funny to think about...
she is still freaking out... and now is trying to delete. (because i keep teasing... )

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hm... ok i think thats enough..... this post took me about 3 hours. o_O

mega sleepy.

-[Pd]-