hm....

im not quite sure what happened today.... so far i have been in four different arguments with four different friends....
now i feel like crap... and i dont know what to say to them...

i dont know if the argument was necessary, or something is bothering me and i just had to pick fights to release myself....

i dont know whats up...


the day was humid, but now is calm
the wind is blowing, the tree branches are swaying to the beat of the wind

my head is hurting, so is my heart.

my body is aching, my finers and feet are numb...

i had a death thought, i crashed.

i'm picking at my wound, so my physical pain would distract me from my emotional pain.
i'm bleeding, but its not working this time.

am i overreacting? am i being too dramatic?
maybe,

whats wrong with me, i dont know.

i tried to fly today, but all that happened is that i hurt my arm, i dont know if its broken... and i dont care.

i am angry, no one can take my anger... they just leave, when really i need them.. my anger is my opening point, but no one can take it, they expect me to cry, cry for help. i dont cry easily.
once i cry, that is when i am completely down and out.

i need another intervention to kick myself straight, be a soldier and move on.
a soldier does not let her/his feelings getting in a way of a battle. its a war out there. and i need to be out there, to survive.

or maybe i just need the proper TLC.. tender loving care... maybe that is what i need.

i dont know and i dont understand.

things happen for a reason.... well this better be well a heck of a reason!!!

-[Pd]-