relationships... ok.. let me explain why i can't seem to uphold a proper relationship...
it is not because i don't want to be tied down,
it is not because i can't handle it,
it is not because i want to be a player....
to me, ... this is what i find true anyways... is,
when you are with someone... and you are always together... you suddenly just automatically only seem to worry about keeping the other person happy, and in a sense that you loose yourself...
i don't disagree with relationships.....
and i'm not saying that i don't want to be in one because i'm going to loose myself... no.
i'm just saying how i see relationships, from what i've learnt (maybe not enough)...
me, i am a person that rushes into things way too fast, emotionally speaking...
and i literally wear my heart underneath my sleeves, ready to give out.
i trip and get hurt very easy so i tend to have a trust issue until i really know the person, and by that time i am comfortable enough... the whole bond has been set as friends, and i don't get to share my long lasting love for them...
my short relationships are the ones where i tend to fancy... yes.. you know what i mean.
so its either a casual relationship, or everything is squeezed into one time zone. meaning, everything is rushed and it ends quickly.
reasons why it ends quickly for me is because, i feel or find that if sex is involved too early then it will never last.
i think sex should be something rare, like a treat.
if you get to have too much candy, would you crave or want it anymore? i think not.
and
it is so hard to get to know someone if sex is involved, i can only get enough about them during sex, and still it has to be more than one time, you can read a bit from each event...
how can you have the time to get to know the true them, if every time you see them, you want to touch them and to have sex.
and so with that said, sex can get boring after a while, and they don't excite you anymore, so you don't have anything else to hold onto , it's over.
i'm just saying, in my view and from what i've been through... but everyone else? i don't know, i'm sure we are all different.
i just had to post this because people keep bugging my about my personal life...
i don't know why people bug me about it for...
i'm pretty sure i'm a wreck, and there is no way on fixing me... it's just who i became to be.
or i can use the excuse that i haven't found the right person yet....
