she is just a stranger thats sat with me on the train...
what's so interesting about her is her way of thinking about everything...
she's not insane, just very cool.
she doesn't have her head in the clouds nor in the ground, just very cool.
she inspired me, i can't list out everything we talked about but she definitely blew my mind..
... now i'm just in the moment of ponder...
i had a dream, a thought, a daydream, a "i drifted of while staring at nothing and probably was half asleep with my eyes open" moment, that i killed myself, and i only went to say goodbye to one person to have my last talk, just explaining the current feeling and not saying that i will die...
and the mood of things weren't because i felt depressed or stressed or pressured to kill myself, it was neutral... it felt neutral.
i remember the whole thing, i remember saying that "i don't regret anything that happened in my life, nothing at all because it has make me who i am, and i know that what i'm going to do is selfish, but it feels right, i feel peace and i would like to leave on this feeling."
it's like as if something had just happened that finally allowed me to fall.
i feel like, the very last scene of the movie Lost and Delirious, when she finally fall...
it is such a powerful feeling.
i had this moment right before i met the girl on the train, is that a sign?
i feel drifty inside.
i feel like there is now something i have to look for... some sort of meaningful life lesson.
